By BARBARA NOWAK
and BEVERLY PITTMAN
The Saucy Sisters, for Brentwood Home Page

The Chinese may be calling 2012 the Year of the Dragon, but we're naming it the Year of the Body.  This year instead of making – then breaking - any resolutions to improve our own bodies, we’ve decided to put our attention to the body of our wines.

Body, of course, refers to how a wine feels in our mouths – its texture, its weightiness, its fullness.  The more potent the wine, the more full-bodied it will be.  At the other end of the spectrum, a wine that lacks sufficient body is described as watery or thin.  Think of the difference between whole milk and skim milk.

Recently, while sipping one of our favorite full-bodied wines (Four Vines Naked Chardonnay), we came up with a little quiz on “body” to share with you.

1.  Which term is NOT usually used to describe a wine's body?

            a. Flabby

            b. Foxy

            c. Thin

            d. Brawny

2.  What component is most responsible for a wine's body?

            a. Winemaker's BMI

            b. Age of the vines

            c. Amount of alcohol

            d. Weight of the grapes at harvest

3.  Which of the following terms is NOT related to wine?

            a. Crunch

            b. French Paradox

            c. Dumb

            d. Six-pack

And the answers are…

Foxy.  While many of us would like a body described as foxy, it has nothing to do with a wine’s body.  It refers to a musky, earthy quality.  Flabby means a wine lacks acid and is heavy on the palate.  Thin is the opposite of full-bodied, referring to a wine that is light or watery.  Brawny is a full-bodied, usually young red, wine that is high in tannins and requires some aging.

Amount of alcohol.  The combination of alcohol, extract, glycerol and acid create the body in a wine.  A winemaker’s BMI, or body-mass index, may be important if you want to date him but has nothing to do with his winemaking skills.  The age of the vines is important to the viticulturist, but not a wine’s body.  And weight of the grapes at harvest?  Well, who cares except the hand-pickers?

Crunch.  That dreaded sit-up.  Not to be confused with “crush,” which is the most common way of extracting the juice from the grape.  French Paradox is what apparently gives the French healthy hearts in spite of lots of wine and fatty foods in their diets.  The dumb phase in winemaking is an awkward stage after bottling when the wine (for some unknown reason) temporarily loses its fruitiness.  And six-pack, well we know about beer and stomach muscles, but recently some wines are being offered in six-pack cartons.

Wishing you a year of perfect body in each glass.

Cheers!

Barbara and Beverly

The Saucy Sisters are wine and spirits experts with a twist. A twist of humor, that is, that they use in their books and in their live performances.  Their new book, The Saucy Sisters Guide to Wine – What Every Girl Should Know Before She Unscrews, is available at www.SaucySisters.com and at Amazon and BarnesandNoble.com.  You can call them with your comments at 615-807-1743 or email them at Saucies@SaucySisters.com.