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By ARNELLE ADCOCK
Business Matters columnist
I wasn’t prepared for the scar.
Having the suspicious place on my shoulder removed was a priority. When the dermatologist finished his scan, he also did a biopsy on a place on my face. He referred me to a plastic surgeon for the procedures.
When the nurse removed the stitches, the scar on my shoulder was about an inch long—what I expected. However, the scar on my face began beneath my left eye and went to my earlobe. Two inches down my face. I wasn’t prepared.
The nurse explained how to care for the scar. Scar massage she called it: rubbing along the scar with some pressure, twice a day. In about a year the scar, and the skin beneath it, would be supple.
The cancer is gone. Thank you, God! The scar is permanent. I wasn’t prepared for such a visible reminder.
You will probably never see the scar on my shoulder. But, when you look close enough, you’ll see the scar on my face.
Emotional scars are probably a lot like these physical scars. Some are hidden. Some are pretty close to the surface, ready to be seen by anyone who pays close attention.
Some are expected. Some are unexpected. We know tough times happen, and we know to suck it up and keep going. However, sometimes people and circumstances knock us for a loop, and we are not prepared for the damage and scars left on our hearts.
The past three years have been challenging for families, communities and businesses. Many business owners have shut their doors. Some have redesigned their companies. Others of us have struggled to start new businesses. Every situation has been challenging—and has produced wounds.
What shall we do about those scars—physical, emotional, and economic ones?
We can hide. Somehow staying to ourselves seems safe. We just won’t let anyone “see” us.
We can disguise the pain, anger or fear by camouflaging our appearances and feelings. We can act as if they are not “there.”
We can carry on. Being vulnerable to questions—and maybe stares—can give strength to our struggles. One thing for sure, this choice gives us a future. Hiding and disguising keep us prisoners of the past—captives of disappointments, mistakes, and failures. Facing our scars means we can eventually be free of their paralyzing pain and open to the lessons others can learn from our circumstances and experiences.
We never are prepared for the scars. But, let the world see them. Massage the pain until your spirit is supple again. It is one way you know the disease of denial cannot harden your heart.
Arnelle Adcock is a partner and president of Brentwood-based Clover Management Group — a team of seasoned professionals who help business owners. You can reach her at 615-900-0777, aadcock@clovermg.com, or www.clovermg.com.
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