School’s out, summer is in, so let the lazy days of summer ‘bliss’ begin! Well, maybe you’re enjoying some summer bliss but so far all I’ve experienced is way too many trips to the gas station to keep my taxi service up and running, way too many trips to the food aisles to keep the fridge full, and way, way too many trips to the laundry room to keep the kids clothed.

So bliss isn’t the first word to come out of this half-glass full Life Coach’s mouth but I’m clinging to the reminder today that my domesticity commands and demands are only “temporary” and my bliss reaches out much further than my vacuum cleaner hose ever will.

I’m also reminded that this “temporary summer season” will soon find us strolling the back-to-school aisles with a bonus seven hours to call our own, all too soon.  I have this giant rollercoaster reminder in my face as well, as I venture out for my son’s first college visit, that this “wearing many hats season of motherhood” is quickly clocking out as fast as my full tank of gas is emptying.

Now, I could continue here with sentimental musings pulling on my heart strings and yours reminding us to embrace and enjoy this frantically fleeting season but I feel pretty confident that we “ Brentwood moms” already know and get that.  Thankfully, I haven’t witnessed too many of us squandering this special but sometimes sanity altering gift of motherhood.

No, I would like to go a bit deeper and give you some things to ponder regarding your life this summer.  Yes, you read that right…. your life.  We’re going to put our children, daily roles, and responsibilities on the shelf for just a minute. I assure you they won’t go anywhere. 

Each time I begin with a new coaching client I assign them homework in order for me to learn more about their reasons for seeking a coach.  Oftentimes, women begin working with a life coach because they need a boost of objective encouragement and support to guide them from point A to point B on their quest for personal fulfillment, goal completing, etc.

One particular client sticks out in my memory to this day.  She is not a Brentwood mom; I have never even met her face to face. But I think her story reflects so many of us moms who pour our hearts and souls into our motherhood roles while putting everything else we used to know and love on the shelf that we assume is too out of reach.

Through this particular client’s homework I learned that after having her first child (first of three), her entire focus and passion was completely tied up into her family. This left no time to think about what her own life was saying about herself. Which on paper doesn’t look so bad; isn’t that what a good mom does, after all?

She went on to explain that she had never taken time to explore her own interests and now that they have all flown from the nest she was left feeling lost and unfamiliar with the person in the rearview mirror of her now-empty SUV.

When asked about her goals, her response was “I have none.” And when asked what left her feeling the happiest and most fulfilled, she answered, “Right now, not much of anything.” 

Unfortunately, because this client waited so long to get real with her own heart, she could hardly grasp the questions currently breaking her heart.  Over the years while asking her kids these “life questions” as they were embarking on their journeys, she didn’t realize the importance of asking them of herself too. 

If this mom’s story resonates with you a teensy weensy bit, don’t wait; don’t wait until there is no more car pool to be pooled, no more lost socks to be hunted down, and no more matches to be won.

Let me help you by getting you started with your own homework.  We’re always telling our kids to do their homework. What about us doing ours and turning it in before it’s due?

As we tell our children, it’s best to plan and prepare and begin with the end in mind. Set aside some time, even this summer, even today (remember summer is all too temporary) to focus your thoughts on what you truly want out of your life so when that fall season appears  or that nest becomes empty you don’t find yourself  filling up your life with the non-blissful same old, same old .

As much as you might think this homework is self-serving and it’s going to take away from your children…

Girl, there’s no time for those crazy excuses.

You can feel good about this because as much as one’s journey is about self, it almost always includes serving others with the interests, gifts, and talents that you’ve honed since childhood.

I know you know that the best way to teach your children passion for life is to be passionate for your own life.  So, what do you say you put on that thinking cap and begin thinking about your life in a whole creative, memory-making way so you too don’t become the unfamiliar and forgetful woman who doesn’t know what to do when her taxi service no longer has any customers?

The time is now to get out a piece of paper or make a mental note (paper is better) and take a condensed version of an INDIVIDUAL INVENTORY of your life.  The key here is truthfulness.  If you need to take one question a day to give it the time it deserves, go for it.

 1.  List your talents, likes, and loves that you use or have used, do or have done (go back as far as you need to.)

2. In what setting/situation did/do you feel most on your game?

3. Think of all the individual activities you do/did and rate your gut. Is/was it revealing a positive/negative emotion?

 4.  What is a dream or desire that you have tucked away?

5.   What road blocks do you see that may get in your way?

There are a lot more questions where these came from but your answers here give you a glimpse to clues and cues regarding how God desires you to use all that you’ve been designed with and for.  Just as we are proud and elated with our children for accomplishing new heights and adventures and for pushing themselves to go after and reach their potential, don’t you think the same goes for us too?  Is the chief designer in the sky going to love us any less for our not using all that we were created for?  Of course, not!

We still love our children even when we know they aren’t embracing their full greatness.  But as our children are a reflection of us, we, too, are a reflection.  And what better reflection and way to say thank you for a blessed life than to take the unique design that each of us has been designed with and go out and live a life of bliss whether or not we have a full or empty nest.

Amy Freese is a professional life coach, motivational speaker and Brentwood mom. Contact her at amyfreese@designerherliving.com or visit her website at DesignHerLiving.com.