A comparison look at 'old' UT versus new

Since it’s that time of year, I thought I’d share a few harrowing tales of my own transition to college.

My parents packed me up for the University of Tennessee at Knoxville in 1985, with “Take on Me” by the gorgeous Norwegian band a-ha (yes, it was lower case) blaring from our car stereo -- for about two minutes until my dad won the battle of the volume knob.

Looking back, I’m amazed I got out of college alive.

I mean it. When I think about the lifestyle differences between that campus 25 years ago and today, I can’t believe that we didn’t actually drive from Memphis to the University of Bedrock in a foot-powered Honda Accord.

Two recent events opened my eyes to how much more convenient life is for modern college students. First, I was cleaning out a box of old college papers from the nether regions of my attic.

Most of the stuff was mundane paperwork that I faithfully saved in accordion files because it might be important someday. As I began dumping the important documents into a black trash bag, I noticed that every single thing had my Social Security number on it.

Every. Single. Paper.

My schedule, my fee receipts, official correspondence, my photo ID card. I had to start shredding stuff because there was nothing I felt comfortable just tossing into the trash. I don’t care what that LifeLock guy says.

The other eye-opening experience happened in May, when we stopped to visit the Knoxville campus on our way back from Gatlinburg, and I’m not talking about the fact that the only remaining trace of the Phi Delt house is a set of concrete steps leading to a vacant lot.

Tim had been a resident assistant in Reese Hall, one of the boys’ dorms, so we thought we’d show our 14-year-old twins what a dorm room looks like at in-state tuition, er, a large state school.

I never knew that the dorms keep a “show room” set up for this very purpose. The head RA happened to be there, and when he opened the door to the first-floor suite, I was flabbergasted.

The wall telephone in the foyer was gone!

I can’t overstate the significance of that phone in my life back then. I’m not saying it was better then, of course, but I wish my own kids could understand what life was like before cell phones.

Vivid memories surfaced of girls who had stretched the 10-foot cord on that phone out into the hallway so they could have some “privacy” with their hometown boyfriends. I tried telling my kids about how we’d all wait until Sunday night to call home, but then we couldn’t call out because all the circuits were busy. Bwah ha ha ha!

Now that I think of it, I’m not sure my kids have ever even heard a busy signal.

Sunday nights could get particularly bad at UT because the cafeterias were closed. Can you imagine? No access to paid-for food! If I had already exhausted my weekly budget (IF??!) and had bounced a check for $1.32 at Bryan’s Deli, I’d scrounge around for change for the vending machine.

Finding a quarter was a big deal because then I was only a dime away from getting a Snickers.

The Freshman 15 really is no mystery at all, is it?

The head RA told us that now a student ID can be loaded with funds from home AND used in any vending machine in any building on campus!

But wait, did you know the ID can also be used on … laundry machines!?

I mean, seriously. What kind of spoiled generation are we coddling here? How can we expect our kids to fully appreciate their first Maytag washer if they haven’t had to bum enough quarters off their roommates only to have them jam in the dorm’s coin-operated machine?

I haven’t even mentioned the reason we’re supposed to go to college, which, in fact, is not eating or running out of underwear but classes. You know, academics!

I wonder if I would have written better term papers if I didn’t have to secure an armed escort down to Kinko’s to print them out in the middle of the night?

No, really! I remember times when my husband had to type some of my news articles for me because the Glocker business building had some of the only com-pu-tors on campus at the time.

I also remember making a mix tape for a final project called “The Language of Rap Music” for my linguistics professor using a dual tape deck. I am not joking. I recorded myself outlining the various types of rhymes interspersed with samples from Salt-N-Pepa, Kurtis Blow and The Beastie Boys.

Who don’t know the educational value of music?

I mean, “Take on Me” was a great song!

 

Jill Burgin calls her column “Joyride” because you never know where she’ll end up. E-mail her at tjburgin@comcast.net.