Smiths meet new son in Ethiopia, return home for holiday with family

By CAROL STUART
Brentwood Home Page
Brentwood’s Susan and Mark Smith arrived back home in time to spend Christmas with the rest of their children after long flights to and from Ethiopia, but Susan says she doesn’t need another gift.

The Smiths, who have three biological children and adopted two sisters in domestic adoptions, got court approval in Addis Ababa on Monday to adopt their son Eli. Susan and Mark had to leave the 1½-year-old boy behind in Africa for about another month until approval by the U.S. Embassy.

“Christmas is all about anticipating Christ’s birth and you focus on baby Jesus and . . . on a different level, we’ve been anticipating Eli, a little baby boy,” said Susan, who wrote a devotional on the timing for her church’s devotion book.

“I couldn’t think of a better time of the year to be anticipating his arrival. It’s exciting. It would have been just as exciting if it had not fallen at Christmas. But I said I don’t want anything for a Christmas present because I’ve already gotten it.”

Mark Smith with Eli in Ethiopia	Susan rocking Eli in Ethiopia

The journey to adopt Eli began about 17 months ago when the Smiths, who were sending 2011 Brentwood High graduate Ben off to the U.S. Military Academy this fall, decided to add to their family again. The family has felt a call of faith to help take care of the world’s orphans one at a time through adoption.

“I hate to use the word surreal sometimes because I feel like it’s an overused word, but it was very emotional,” Susan said Thursday after arriving back home Wednesday night. “I even get teary-eyed talking about it right now.

“For 17 months you’ve been waiting for this child and all of a sudden he’s put in your arms. I have always said having biological children and adoptive children, it’s the exact same feeling when they put an adoptive child on your chest. It’s almost even more intense, because you’ve been waiting longer than 9 months.”

When the Smiths finally got their referral in late October as Susan was leaving the Brentwood UMC Shopalooza, she had figured out it would be the week of Christmas when the couple would need to travel to go for court. But she was just as emotional to find out the date fell on Dec. 19 and they could get back home for Christmas with Ben, who arrived home from West Point a day after they left the U.S.; their high school children Matthew and Mary Grace; and their youngest, Anna and Elizabeth.

“By the time we got over there, it was so hard to believe we were actually in Africa,” Susan said. “One time Mark said ‘You realize how far away we are from home?’ and I said ‘Don’t remind me.’ It was really hard to say goodbye to the four children here …

“But it was probably one of most emotional experiences I’ve had, and equivalent to the births and adoptions of our other children.”

Others will 'want to hop on a plane and go to Ethiopia'

The Smiths were able to visit and play for parts of four days with Eli, who was attached to his “special moms” at Hannah’s Home, a transitional home for children waiting for adoptions to be finalized.

 “He was described before to us as very happy and playful, and he is very happy and playful,” Susan said.

Said Mark: “He’s a cute little guy. He’s got big long eyelashes like our Anna, and dark eyes … and people are going to mistake them for (siblings) more than Anna and Elizabeth.”

They also were surprised to find out Eli was walking when he had only been standing a couple of weeks before they arrived, the Smiths said. “We didn’t get to see his first steps, but close to it,” Susan said.

Mary Grace, Elizabeth, Ben, Anna and Matthew   Previous story: Smiths say 'why not' to Ethiopian son

The Smiths also took toys to the other children and spent time with them while visiting the home.

“I enjoyed very much playing with all the other kids,” Mark said. “I just played with the other ones, and he warmed up to me watching me play with the others.

“They were climbing all over me, and they were sweet little boys and girls, just precious. It was a comforting thing knowing they were all going to parents.”

Susan said she took hundreds of photos of Eli and the other children that the adoption agency will allow them to post after they get approval by the U.S. Embassy to bring Eli home. Cases are only presented on Mondays and the next two weeks are holidays, so the normal two-week waiting will be delayed until the end of January or beginning of February.

“I think when people see Eli they’re going to want to hop on a plane and go to Ethiopia,” Susan said. “My experience seeing the other children was about as emotional as meeting Eli. The Ethiopian people are beautiful, and these kids have a light in their eyes and a grin that goes ear to ear.

“Especially the older children – there were three 6-year-old boys that were so polite and so excited every time we came. And we took toys to play with them, simple things like balloons, bubbles and stickers. It just breaks your heart that there’s close to 1 million orphans in that country alone. Anybody who wants to see my pictures, I’m going to gladly show them.”

From third-world country back to home in Brentwood

Mark and Susan had to travel for 24 hours of air travel on three different legs, going through Chicago and Frankfurt, and didn’t sleep for about 36 hours before arriving in Ethiopia. While the air travel cost about $4,000 alone, the hotel and meals totaled only about $360.

The Smiths were so excited they could hardly sleep after arriving Friday night. They visited Eli during the mornings due to naptime schedules (except the day they went to court), and they went to a cultural dinner and to the market because the country wanted them to experience Ethiopian culture.

Mark said the trip to a third-world country was an adventure in itself, from arriving at Hannah’s Hope in a home tucked away from the main road via a bumpy ride and set behind high fencing and barbed wire that protected most of the buildings.

Mary Grace, Matthew and Ben at Times Square after he completed the "Beast" plebe training

In Addis Ababa, however, they saw the shining new,  modern African Union building but also experienced traveling in the “controlled chaos” of roads merging in circles since there are no stop lights. While Addis Ababa is the “Switzerland of Africa,” Mark said there were also a lot of tin-roofed buildings and small business owners “trying to survive.”

The court was a 10x13-foot room behind a door in a little old building, and in English the judge told them “He’s all yours,” Mark said.

While it was tough leaving Eli behind, Mark said he knew the goal on this trip was to meet Eli and get court approval. Once the Embassy puts the final stamp on the adoption, they will have to remain with him in Ethiopia for 48 hours to get his visa and passport.

A college graduate friend of the family’s was able to arrange her job schedule to work for the Smiths and stay with their other children in Brentwood during this trip. (“I think I’m paying for her wedding,” Mark joked).

“The kids are beyond excited,” Susan added. “We held off shopping for Eli until I could measure and see how big he was. Here in a little while I’m taking Mary Grace out to shop and buy some clothes and some toys, now that we have an idea where he is developmentally.”

Mary Grace is putting together a video of the photos and the video taken by her parents, “especially portions where you see his personality,” Susan said.

Mark, meanwhile, was out shopping with Ben for a new phone for Christmas and catching up on his college son’s life, including learning Ben was probably going to spend a semester studying abroad in Germany as a junior because his German studies are going so well. Ben also will attend the Dec. 29 Military Ball while home.

Ben's first trip home, arriving at airport Labor Day weekend, a surprise for Elizabeth & Anna

The family will have to do a lot of baby-proofing in the next month, the parents said, including putting away things like Anna and Elizabeth’s Barbie shoes. Ben probably won’t get to meet his little brother until spring break, though he will be able to video-chat as he does now.

“Ben’s real engaged with our little ones and they love Ben being home,” Mark said. “It’ll have to be relayed to Eli how much Anna and Elizabeth love for him to come home – and they’ll be very much the leaders in Eli’s development.”

Matthew had offered to share his room with his new brother when the family decided to adopt again, but Eli initially will stay in his parents’ room for bonding just as Anna and Elizabeth did. But one thing is sure – Eli will play Brentwood YMCA soccer at age 4 just like all his other siblings.

And when he’s old enough to attend Edmondson Elementary, there will be several other children there around his age who were also adopted from Ethiopia by Brentwood families, Susan said.

“We’re excited to have Eli and know he’s a part of our family and will be here soon,” she said.

 “The blessing he is for our family and that we will be for him is all the sweeter at Christmas,” Mark said.